I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
