She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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