508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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