I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The struggles of a small town man whore
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
