I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
