i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
