she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
