it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have post one night stand depression
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