So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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