i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
