Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
