please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
