Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
