Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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