Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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