how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
