will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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