mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
