We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
