My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
