Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
