Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
