New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
