Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
