In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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