Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
