I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
