where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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