i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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