as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
