Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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