its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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