But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
