Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
