I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
