Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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