im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
