I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
