Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
