No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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