yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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