What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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