I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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