well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Come on in and take your pants off
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