Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
