margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
