I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
