I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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