if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
