dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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