Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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