I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
