Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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