Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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