Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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