not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
