is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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